So we have this amazing house help who sometimes fills in as a nanny for Olive- when I go to work, she comes with and takes care of O.
She is great at what she does, she’s the type of person that takes initiative and doesn’t really need to be told anything, I’m super happy with everything she does. Most importantly she gets along really well with O, O loves her to bits which makes me super happy! Every morning when I Open up for our househelp O gets super excited and can’t wait to play with her, it really makes me feel good knowing that O loves her and is happy with her. I feel great knowing that O will grow up with someone that she really loves.(Hopefully)
Today however, I’ve left O hanging around with her because I have so much work to catch up on that I just can not manage looking after O as well as finish this all up, on a break I went to take O and as I was taking her away to do something she cried and wanted to go back to our awesome house help. This actually just broke my heart- Never in my life, or rather in O’s life has she ever wanted someone more than she wants me, never have I ever thought that she would like someone more than me. Logically I know that O loves me and was having a great time playing with our househelp and didn’t want to be taken away but secretly I have this deep fear that she will start loving her more than she loves me and that kind of makes me want to stop work all together and not have to have a nanny so that I can be with O 100% of the time which means she will love me more than anyone…doesn’t it?
I don’t know….this has really made me feel super emotional, have any of you other parents felt this way?