Letting people take Olive while i’m still in the room or in the next room is one thing, but letting them take Olive “far” away without me being there is so difficult for me for a number of reasons, like… what if she starts crying and wants her mummy and I’m not there for her? Does she think I’ve abandoned her? I know she needs to be strong and be able to be independent but she’s still young and I want to be there for her every second, I don’t think it’s bad to smother them right now. Also I just have such bad anxiety when I’m not with her, thinking about all that could go wrong and does this person know what their doing? Wether they have had a baby or not makes no difference to me. I know Olive inside and out, they may have 100 kids but Olive and every child are different.
Bearing in mind I have left Olive at home quite a few times with an amazing nanny that I trust, either on one or 2 occasions for a job I couldn’t take her to or to go out with some friends, but even with her, whenever I am not working or doing something I will take Olive right back because I just want to be with her at all times.
I’ve had to learn over time to just let go, let Olive experience the world in all aspects including different people, different characters, different cultures & traditions. I do realise that Olive is always ok, and each time I do it, I get more comfortable with the idea, although I still struggle with this, it is getting easier and I am so proud of how well Olive handles every situation and how well she takes t other people.
My baby is 7 months now! She’s a big girl and it’s time I started treating her like one- I think I need her more than she needs me sometimes!